Undefined Damages

I am surrounded with smoke that
Quickly gets exhaled from
My undefined lungs.
They are caught
In between young and damaged.
I turn the band up louder.
Guys who know how to play their anger loud and hard
But don’t know how to hold their own instruments.
Their bass still agrees with me.
And I get yelled at.
From me. From you.And from all of them
But mostly me.And I know it.
I know I live my young life too hard,
A life too damaged by being too undefined.
I quickly take in more dark fatal smoke,
And laugh bitterly.
At my inner child for once protesting
All of this poison and these complex lyrics.
One time when my mind didn’t listen to all the yells.
Coming from me. And you and then all of them.
But it’s usually mostly me.
But it was still just noise.
White, simple little noise for me to dance in.
I created volume and light outside my small body
Wanting to wipe out all the confusion and fog I saw.
And I got a pat on the head for being little and full of good.
And I was that ray of sunshine for a moment more
Still too young to spell damaged.
Now I am too damaged from being too undefined.
Night after day I take what’s inside, and what’s too dark for others to see.
And I hold it in front of me.
Trying to define all that is damaged.
And I fill it with my own smoke and toxins.
And I’d rather breathe in the loud bass that I once protested,
So I can to spell the smoke and bass that defines
The damages of the anger and the yells,
That comes from me, from you, from the rest of them.
But mostly it comes from me. And I know it.