---gjgvh

New love, holy thoughts
We are strapped together
Freinds forever.

december 16, 2010

Dear Grandma,

I missed you today for the first time.
I really wanted you here to talk to.
I had something important to ask you.
For once, I had something.
Why now, and not during all those slow moments we waited for you to die.
Each minute around you after your mind had gone and you were a shell of a ghost of a memory of my role model, my nurturing true mother, my everything, my explanation of how I am the way I am and I sat there looking into your still breathing eyes searching for just one thing to tell you and all I reciprocated was silence.

Dear Grandma,
I went to La Salette tonight to cry for you, finally.
I expected the lights turned on for Christmas and it was going to be my first time seeing them, special!
Do you know I live here now, by La Salette? I heard you used to love it and bring older members of my family here.
My eyes were so black with heroin I could not see the lights
Maybe that's why I haven't been seeing you,
I know you were watching me thought there were not even lights

Take the reigns with me.

In the dark afternoon I hunt alone, my path foggy yet seamlessly unwinding,
In the dark afternoon I ponder it all, my own self an equation too blinding.


I'm just looking for someone brave enough to take the reigns with me,
That's right, you know it, pull back, go forward, be my baby.

I'm not searching for someone who can say the same nice words I've heard before
I'm looking to hear those same nice words and have it sound
true, important, and really for me me, forever more.

Hand over hand, we're driving fast to a destination straight and far from where we were last,
Hand over hand, pull the reigns hard with me, just to tighten my grip don't let go.

Hand over hand, hands so I can be stronger, I can be focused and my feet won't leave the floor,
Hand over hand, so in your eyes I can be remarkable, I can be a magician and open that door

We've both left so much behind, it's a wonder we met each other blindly.
You react to my hips, my curves my uniqueness like it's been created for your body.

We've both got so much to receive in this world, it's no wonder every time I'm surprised,
that it's you who is that finds me, and I like the way you do it, better every time.

I'm just looking for someone to take the reigns with me, it don't
have to look picture perfect, and there's no forced smiles to be drawn
Simply grab me, pull me close to you, and we'll both be composers to this song.

Take the reigns, oh, take the reigns with me,
it don't have to be picture perfect just be ready to be free.

Hand over hand, we're driving fast to a destination straight and far from where we were last
Hand over hand, pull the reigns hard with me, just to tighten my grip don't let go.

I'm just looking for someone brave enough to take the reigns with me,
That's right, you know it, pull back, go forward, be my baby.

Take the reigns, oh, take the reigns with me,
it don't have to be picture perfect just be ready to be free.

North Star Sighting

white russian revival-
joyous! rhythmic! gracious lips
effortless tongue waltzes-
heart warming soft hair body warmer
Oh, God to be one for a whole night.

new friend

You tell me this is a new beginning
but you must close your eyes so you can't see I'm stuck at an end.

You tell me this is all friendly,
but when our lips lock there is something we choose not to comprehend.

We are lovers of love, romantics of the past.
We want our life happy and we want it back fast.

I can't blame you, I do it, too.
If I could make up chemistry with our gaze I'd do it all for you.

Tossed like a Skipping Stone

I was Tossed like a Skipping Stone
right in the pale moonlight.
I thought my soul was lost, but it was my Soul that threw the me into the night.

I tried to save myself
by Drowning in my Fears

I tried to pay my dues, by facing my own tears
(I've been swimming in them).

I was Tossed like a Skipping Stone
someone whispered I'd be all right.

I was Tossed like a Skipping Stone
I sank and floated through the night.

The wind chilled my skin but my body was not there.
The darkness froze my senses but I felt enough that bare.

I was Tossed like a Skipping Stone
and I made it through the night.

I was Tossed like a Skipping Stone
discarded, reborn when it was right.

Notice to Ease elucidate an Embrace

There's something dark in Him.

I see it and I still don't care.

Rather trusting of bold Strikes

First taste daze &

and buyers without Wares.

The spaces of this man's mind I don't understand are villianized,
I allow his hands to guide the waltz,

Our eyes meet briefly acknowledging we hear the same music.


And our bodies move together and the story starts and I .

I focus on writing it perfectly, do anything to keep the story going.

I make a blunt motion and take more of his weight on me and I
I akwardly adjust my body to his.

I don't get scared, I don't fight it. I don't expect it. Each time.

Love and life I learn so deeply, my persistent student heart drives me to solitude.


I strain to adjust my body to his, she to he, my joints buckle, bones brittle.

There's something dark in him.

I just need to be held so I can make this story work.


Because the fight is keeping me alive.

I mock the hope I am infested with

Waiting, patient peace dove in my heart blushing with
the dream to beat pure and free one day.

I'm fixing the problem of only seeing the good in everyone.

By provoking the darkness I struggle to be free of; Love predators.
It’s love like a cause to question every beginning
e living, unfolding predestinations grasping for Breadth.

lighting a flame to see where my compass is pointing me (in progress)

I light my candles
At night to sleep,
It protects the fortress that-
you left for me to weep.

I kept a light on for you,
thought you're smile would come through the door
I think I see why people pay to laugh
And why poets compose memorable words that are recited, every more.

Each night alone alone felt like a week.

I thought you were a knight
And I was your princess
but I was your sky and i followed you away from the stars
because you promised to be my compass

I needed direction
I know it was a lot to ask
But we spoke of love and our family
every night you made me dam sure you would last

I pray for mercy, I pray to ease the pain so- excuse me if
the sound of sleigh bells leaves my face full of tears like rain

Jesus and I, well, we had a falling out just before
And the first time was not late last night
when so much fear came upon me,
the bible fell from my hands right to the floor

I thought this candle had burned down
And my life was hopeless to the core
I thought the last of my matches
would mean I've become a widow, ever more

This little island of mine
only stretches and expands so far
The land is like quick sand, I'd take any thing consistent... even if I am promised endless tar.

This might be true, and-
you might be right
I might as well just love that I love-
and think today I should be in love tonight,

So, drop your axe, old flame
Stay cold and bereft of my warm heart
The day you chose to stop going towards love
and straight to worship was when we should have part.

by the Slow transfer of the moon to sun's light

Before the Dawn,
there is goodness in us all,
our sleeping beds,
our pillow cocooned heads
retain the last images of our dreams before we wake.

Before the Dawn,
unconscious humans, united in peace
connected by similar journeys,
those stories that humans never speak.

Before the Dawn,
evil intentions are separated from sight
by the slow transfer of the moon to sun's light.

Before the Dawn,
we are all innocent, all possibilities
limitless, one urge important, clear.

Before the Dawn,
beginning beautiful light of the day shyly finds its way to my cheek,
Life kisses me good morning.

Eyes and body half aware of sensation,
mind uncluttered, unabashed- there is only one need:
and The moment I wake there is Love.

Waterfire Stories: 9/11/2010.

Waterfire Stores: 9/11/2010.



I do not know what life is. It must have something to do with a traffic light reflected on black water beside the white fire and a child in a stroller and the popcorn-flavored smell of smoke. I do not know what love is. I do know how it feels to walk hand in hand with you inside the echo of an ancient tune with the moon almost full and the fire I long since thought had died coming alive somewhere inside me. -Kenneth Slaughter

6 months- t be posted

The first 6 months were nothing
I guess I forgot that punchline, well...
the hardest part for me to open myself up to you was
just bargaining time in your eyes

The first 6 months were nothing
Then the next 6 months were hard
These 6 months have been interesting
and the next 6, well, if I am lucky
Will be held by you in some regard.

Forgive for trespassing on your
times that missed the mark
the first 6 times you kissed me
Were times that lifted me, hard,
it was not easy., but thank God
I awoke aware.

To how the first 6 months were amazing. and
all the days in front of us could be shared
In months I ay be all alone or I may be tired and done.
I just want to be in love with uou.
And you take it so very hard;;

IN PROGRESS!!! Amnesia is a Lunar Cycle

(IN PROGRESS)

The Night sheds my sorrow
My minds empty when I wake
My trust in God and nature's whole,
For one beautiful, selfless moment
I see the beauty in all the world before I completely wake.

I am open, I am living I am still your
princess for you to take.
I'm left alone to wake and dream for
Your strong arm to
reach, and want me hot,
roll into each other and
be One Body again.

The Night sheds my sorrow
My minds empty when I wake
For one beautiful self-less moment
My palms feel freedom, the weight of power
to tune my fate

My morning breath exhales purpose
Bringing air to my mind
it's reminded me why
I am lying here-
why I hit PLAY and not REWIND.

Your heated chest pressed against me,
rising and falling to some time
I know those songs
are about me but
why I am all alone when your by my side?

But I'm too full of
hope and love
and your too full of losing yourself to me
you tell me to stop
touching you, like that's expected, like
I won't be sick with shame.

of Loving, loving you

You must be a magician
And this love must be
a trick. Why is something
that I took the course to nurture,
blossoming inside of me, for you, just for you
a sickness, not a gift?

The Night sheds my sorrow
Erases uncontained hysteria
over mourning for passions call, yesterday no despair
How many sleeps
have I been washed in this-
Lunar cycle amnesia

How many more days can it help me
find a way, to see my purity
My mind's empty when I wake

Maybe you'll come to me
in my Castle where I Stay,
each day, the lines seep deeper
I've dedicated more to you-
I'm your Princess,
sadly growing old, emprisoned
to you, lovingly, love.

each
morning I pray you'll
Make me a lover, again, and at night I'll
press so rested so close to you.
The love of two people will mean
there is is nothing for Mother Moon to salve
and take from me,
just my dreams coming true.

evening Prayer

Come down
Come down
From the stars or
from the sea

Come down
Come down
Come down to me.

I need some salvation.
I need some peace.

Two eyes

God did not give us two eyes so it's Him you'd only see.
I wasn't born to be loved, but with time you let me free.

So, you have two hands and feel how much you can do
You're a healer, you're a symbol, you're a messenger of what is true

Let the tears fill my eyes to make two tiny silver pools,
stare deep deep within me and find I was carrying, you.

I mourn the long years of life absent from your side
I'm no fool I know a soul mate is a word, not something I can find,
There are things you do not question, there is a peace I cannot accept

You'd know this if you had more strings, not as a puppet or a pet
I was a Mother before a daughter, though a family was not repaired,
I did not have time for spiritual embellishments, there was no Father there.
I made up stories for the young ones, pretending his absence meant he cared.

God did no give us two eyes so it's him you'd only see
The eldest born protects the flock, thank God a blessing I did bear-
Brother, sister I made you strong no matter what happened to me
I would not have changed a thing, my love, except have you there.

Crossing this Threshold

I'm a creature out of habit,

I'm a song in need of shape.

Sure, the signs are right.

The doors been left Unlocked,

but you knock, anyways.

Oh, we are two of a kind,

But

We're much more than a Pair.

whatever the mirror reflects tonight

I know its one thing I will bare.

post-Termination initiation

This hole gets heavier as

it drains, the silence relieves some pains,

the nights, they darken, they dilate

shorter- when no one complains.

The less in me the more there is to hide,

I mourn not those I see but what I

felt inside.

Sweet, sweet are your lips-

I taste them fondly when I close my eyes.

Will this, too, leave my mouth, my taste

like that first bloom breeze, this memory shakes me Whole-

Gentle moment, missing friend

this time please stay for awhile?

I Am dangling this in front of you,

thought it's not what I wish to admit;

I've learned to suppress these lustful thoughts,

but without them, will I exist?

heart Concussion

heart Concussion

limp wrist protest

sullen thoughts

Remember, I'm a mess

There's a pill to be happy

There's a pill to be strong

There's a life to Conceive

and a Confession to be sworn.

he Plays guitar

The quieter I am the

faster he goes the Farthest he

is away from his inhibitions, concerns

I stay quiet because even if

I don't need help badly he

is so concerned for my

welfare and conscious of

my presence when I just

want to look at him.

I guess I would need my

own room, too. A room

where one could not

just "open the door"

onto your space.

It is hard to feel the

flow that way.

Scratch Ticket Baby

5 $1 1.00 for scratch

tickets give it a chance

How much money should be

invested to uncertainty?

4 chances a day - minus gas money

Blows luck through her lips with

her breath.

4 matching numbers 5, 9, 11, 7

If Probability were dependable

It would bot be psychiatry's math

Slippery 7's sing a chance.

A $1 1.oo more gets me a closer

what Signs are born from

Breaking Even?

Lucky 7 is a Mistress of the Muses

Laughing behind the numbers at a

fool's chance

Slippery 7s, mommy millionaire's

give birth without hesitation

You pay for what you play for

Breaking Even, Breaking Mind.